Geek On The Hill

They’re Trying to Kill Us All. Be Careful.

But “they,” I mean the U.S. food industry. I have come to the conclusion that they’re trying to kill us all. Why, I can’t say. But the food itself makes it clear that they’re trying to poison us all.

I’ve been investigating this for quite a while, and I’ve identified two camps in the War on Human Life: the Salt Camp, and the Sugar / Carbohydrate Camp. As their names imply, the Salt Camp wants to kill us with absurdly high levels of sodium in the foods they sell, and the Sugar / Carbohydrate camp wants to do it with processed sugar and nutritionally-empty carbohydrates.

Salt and sugar crystals under a microscope.

I used to think that the reason why prepared and processed foods were so ridiculously laden with salt and sugar was because they’re cheap. But I’ve discarded that theory. Cheapness alone doesn’t explain why they add so much salt and sugar to foods that are acceptably healthy, like deli sliced chicken or roast beef, that they turn them into poison. They could have just left them alone and they would have been fine. But they don’t. They package them in bags of salt and/or sugar until no person in their right mind who cares about their health would so much as touch them, much less eat them.

I don’t know why they’re trying to kill us. After all, killing your customer base isn’t good for business. But it’s hard to think of any other reason why so many food products are so loaded up with salt and sugar. I mean, read the labels, people. Even most hot sauces have sugar in them. Why in the world would anyone want sugar in their hot sauce? It’s supposed to be hot, not sweet.

So be careful. Like I said, I don’t know why they’re trying to kill us, but it’s clear that they are.

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